The amazing Comediva folks are back with a brand new BAMF Girls Club episode, this one featuring Lisbeth teaching the other housemates how to use the internet. Transcript after the jump.
Transcript:
Voice-over: When Buffy, Hermione, Katniss, Lisbeth, Michonne and Bella move into one house, it’s an utter BAMF-gasm of awesomeness! It’s the BAMF Girls Club!
Lisbeth (title card reads “Lisbeth Salander, Hacker”): These girls have weapons, magic, super strength, but the internet will eat them alive.
**
Kitchen
Katniss (trying to put her laptop through the garbage disposal): Augh! Stop signing me up for those stupid bread Groupons, Peeta!
Lisbeth: Katniss, haven’t you ever heard about unsubscribe ?
Bedroom
Lisbeth (working on laptop, looks over at Bella): What are you waiting for?
Bella (lying on back with laptop on chest, 404 Not Found error on the screen): It says it won’t work until 404. I have 20 minutes.
Living Room
Buffy (laughing on the sofa): Lisbeth, have you seen this dancing, animated baby? I’m going to email this to all my friends and tell them that they have to share it, or a mailer demon is going to ruin their love life…forever.
Lisbeth interview
Lisbeth: These girls have to learn that the internet is not a toy. It is a device to be used only for revenge…and occasionally kitty cats.
Living Room – group assembled
Lisbeth: I have created a PowerPoint presentation to explain the internet.
Buffy: Hello? I know what the internet is.
Lisbeth: If you consider AOL discs and Geocities sites the internet. But a lot has changed. For example, Grumpy Cat.
Lisbeth interview
Lisbeth: Everything on the internet is important, so I started with the basics.
Living Room – group assembled
Bella: Why does he only have like one emotion? That’s so one-note.
Lisbeth: Seriously? There is also Grumpy Cat’s rival: Colonel Meow.
(lights flash and computer shuts down)
Hermione: I want to see the adorable kittens.
Lisbeth: Witch! Your magic breaks technology. This is why you were not invited.
Hermione: Well then it’s an inferior tool! (Lisbeth stares her down) Oh…I’m just going to go and toast…a crumpet. I like crumpets!
Lisbeth: Moving on from cats, there is also something called memes.
Michonne: Those are not memes, those are roamers! (pulls out sword)
Katniss: Michonne! We talked about this, smell it before you hit it.
Katniss and Michonne interview
Katniss: We started implementing the smell test after the pizza boy incident.
Michonne: Kid had a lot of pimples.
Living Room – group assembled
Bella: So if I’m writing a love letter to Edward…
(slide of “Goats” with picture of screaming goat comes up on computer)
Bella:…how do I make sure that…(interrupted again by Lisbeth pressing button to make screaming goat sound)…he actually gets it…because sometimes he doesn’t respond! (pause) I love Edw- (screaming goat sound)
Lisbeth: Moving on: Facebook etiquette.
(doorbell rings)
Buffy: He’s here!
Lisbeth: Who?
Buffy: A guy I met on the internet.
Buffy interview
Buffy: Dating guys who could only go out at night was becoming kind of a drag. Chuck E. Cheese? Closed. Dollar Store? Closed. Abandoned amusement park? Open, but not a good date, okay guys?! So, I started an Okcupid profile.
Front door
Buffy (to Lisbeth, who has thrown herself in front of the door): What are you doing?
Lisbeth: I have not done my section on internet safety. Never ever meet somebody you met on the internet unless you’re in a public place, or you have guns on you.
Buffy: It is fine, Lisbeth, lay off!
(Buffy throws open the door)
Buffy: Hi! Oh, three for one! Saletastic!
Men: I’m going to enjoy watching you die, Ms. Summers.
Hermione: Oh, who’s our new houseguest?
(the men disappear as a result of Hermione’s disrupting their technology. Buffy closes the door)
Buffy: Ugh. Why can’t guys just do dinner and a movie anymore?
Bella: Well at least he brought you flowers.
Buffy: Thanks for taking him out, Hermione.
Lisbeth: He is not dead; he always comes back.
Michonne: Just like a walker.
The post FFFF: Lisbeth Salander Explains the Internet appeared first on Gender Focus.
